Of Skirts and Edd
by MiyuKazukii
Summary: Edd has a something of a double life. As he struggles to keep it hidden from a certain nosey jock he may end up with more then he anticipated.
1. Chapter 1

_Uhm... I didn't mean to start a new one. I just... did. What is it with me and wanting Edd to have a secret. I dunno... I think it's the hat. Hopefully it's a good one anyway. I'll be posting the next chapter of Neurochemistry at some point too but i've hit a bit of a wall. _

* * *

"I'm so glad tonight is finally over." Tatiana said as she stretched out her long limbs back stage.

"You were great out there tonight." A large black woman to her left said, squeezing the smaller girls shoulder before moving to her station.

"Yeah? I've not been doing this long. I'm glad I'm finally getting the hang of it." The lanky girl said. She removed the thigh heigh boots that encased her legs and rolled the sheer stockings off to set her feet free.

"All you had to do was memorize the dance. And that was easy on you, right sugar?" The sparkling dark woman asked as she removed her flamboyant make-up.

"Yes, though I still don't care for the music. I don't understand some of the more… interesting lines." Tatiana shrugged off the feather head-dress and shimmering beaded shawl.

"You zip that pretty little mouth of yours. Don't you dare insult the elder goddess of music. You best go pray to Cher for your sins."

Tatiana chuckled before silence took over, even as the pounding music of the stage reverberated through the dressing room. The two expertly removed the make-up and lashes, the sequin gowns and padding hidden under. And soon they were no longer women.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Ashleighia."

"Call me Andy out of dress Edd." Andy's deep southern accent drawled.

"Oh yes, My apologies It's hard to shake the name I was introduced to you by, Andrew."

The large black man chuckled and rolled his eyes as he clapped a hand on the smaller man's back. "Still having trouble with nicknames?"

"I'm sorry!" Edd gasped. "Andy." Edd smiled his gap-toothed smile.

* * *

Edd sighed as he left the bright building.

A white sign hung in the window below the large lit letters of the bar. 'DRAG SHOW' was all it read. It wasn't a huge establishment but it was happy, friendlily, and it felt like home.

He went around the back of the building to the parking lot and into his small white corolla, climbing into the drivers seat and taking the wheel to head to his own empty house. After this he was to add the finishing touches to his AP Government paper and head to bed. The lights and sounds of the old brick building left behind until tomorrow.

* * *

Edd was a drag queen. Though it was an accident, it was a happy one. He had always been a little on the curious side about drag but he didn't start in the boots and dresses, he began as a scheduling manager. It was a strange place to start as a high-schooler but he showed amazing talent no one else had in memorizing the girls schedules, plans, and just about everything else. What they ate, what size shoes they wore in mens, women's, and european sizing, what color and brand make-up they preferred, and he was also skilled in accounting and bookkeeping. He quickly became a valuable resource to the little place. Even now as a side-line drag girl he took care of most of those activities.

It all started when his parents told him he should get experience in the world before he set off to college. (In sticky note format of course.) He was, after all, going to be in his last year of high school and he would have a shortened schedule of all AP classes. The summer also left him with a lot of free time to spare with Ed being in summer school and Eddy helping out his father at the dealership for extra spending money. So he started applying for jobs he found interesting.

He had only applied at the '_Blue Dressage_' because he found the culture fascinating. He liked the idea of the support the community offered. He never expected the job but he was given a chance, a 17 year old with no work experience nor knowledge of pop or drag culture.

The moment he walked in though he knew he wanted to be a part of this place. He was easily able to be himself with the queens. He had been hired on the spot. (Though it was mostly because 'Matilda' the Drag Mother and owner of the little place thought he was a cutie.)

Then there was 'Marina.' She had been a side-liner for years and would occasionally take over center-stage if someone was sick or hurt. Marina was amazing at quickly learning the dances and steps but was known as a bit of an addict. Then one day, a little over two months after Edd had started working there, they had found her back stage passed out.

She had overdosed. Lucky for Marina, Matilda knew what to do and kept her alive until paramedics arrived. She had lived but not without major repercussions. Rehab was necessary, and in the end she decided it was best not to go back. She hung up her wig and title and went back to being Rikki. Last they heard from him he moved in with his boyfriend of three years in Colorado and were happy with their two little dogs.

That night was his first performance as Tatiana. He'd been shoved in a dress and make-up with a 'the show must go on' from Matilda. Luckily he had memorized the dance (out of both boredom and neurosis.) He didn't have a major role but he had made a wonderful woman. His long lanky figure took to dresses and heels easily. He had small feet and a delicate frame so most woman's clothing fit like a dream, of course padding was necessary to perfect the illusion. As a present to the Tatiana Rikki left her his clothes and wigs. He wasn't going to need them anymore. The clothes needed to be re-fitted but he had a deep love for a particular long black wig, Marina never wore it much but it quickly became part of Tatiana's look and he took great care of it.

Ashleighia and all the other queens wholeheartedly loved Edd. They treated him like family, they gave him the strength to come out and just be himself.

Speaking of coming out he hadn't told everyone yet but Ed and Eddy knew and they were the only ones that mattered outside of The Blue Dressage.

When classes started up again he still had plenty of free time. His homework, he found, was best done in between shows, back stage, as he shimmied on the tight lace and sparkling fabrics.

* * *

Edd pulled into his drive way and entered his dark house.

Sometimes he wished he could bring his drag persona home. Be the ever confident Tatiana, with her long dark hair and confident attitude. The aloof nature of costume-wear made Edd a much more daring person, with wigs and platforms and face-conturing make-up nobody knew who he was. He could be whoever he wanted. And Tatiana was all of it. She was smart but sexy. Bright yet mysterious. She made women want to be her and men want to be with her. She mingled with the bar-goers and got plenty of numbers, most of which she never called but still kept as Edd, as reminders that somebody thought him attractive enough to flirt with, even if it was as someone else.

He didn't necessarily want to become a woman. It was uncomfortable to be in those shoes for so long and dresses rode up too often for him to feel anything less then embarrassed in outside of the club. He just wished that he could act that way. Feel confident as just himself. However no one thought him attractive as a man. He was pale and scrawny. Lanky and boney. Tender and anything but masculine, not once did he get even a fraction of the sexual attention he got as Tatiana. People thought him cute. He was like a small animal. You want to play with it and scratch it behind the ears but of course you'd never want to have sex with it or be in a relationship with it. With him. He had dated sure, and even felt loved at one point but the illusion of Tatiana was so much more desired then just... Edd.

He laid in his bed when he couldn't focus on the paper. 'Oh well' he thought. 'I'll just do it tomorrow.'

He drifted off thinking of the flashing lights and thumping music, reciting the lines to popular songs in his head, mouthing the words in time and wondering what they could mean.

* * *

_So I have a few chapters of this in progress but... Tell me what you think. _


	2. Chapter 2

Okay_ Chapter 2 coming at you in front of a live studio audience. Insert laugh tracks from I love lucy wherever you see fit._

* * *

The next night was busier than it had any right to be. Three of their main side girls had gotten sick and anyone who could help out was too busy to come in. The house was packed and they had to change the song venue to one they could preform with only half of their usuals.

They had probably six or seven costume changes tonight for their 50's theme. It ranged from a sweet school look with high Tracy Turnblad up-do's to a Sandy Olsen greaser girl look with tight leather pants that zipped up the front. At the end of the night Edd had long passed when he should have been home. He needed to get that paper done tonight though. It was due tomorrow morning.

He was never one for stalling but he truly thought he'd have time tonight. How was he supposed to know everyone would get sick?

In all actuality he could submit it how it was now and receive an A. But Edd, ever the neurotic, had to make sure it was perfect.

He didn't have time to change into his street clothes. He'd just have to go home in drag, No one was at home anyway to see him like this.

Everyone in the dressing room watched in amazement seeing the usually so put together Tatiana flounder and hop around the room making sure she had everything she needed so she could get home. Matilda shouted out to made sure Edd would remember to bring back the dress. He shot her a dirty look that said 'Of course I will, washed, pressed and ironed. Who do you think I am' that only Tatiana could muster up.

Edd left in his own long dark wig that went well with his elegant figure. It was curled at the ends and perfectly styled with a lovely white bow. The dress was vintage. Navy blue with a sharp white collar and cuffs. It was long sleeved but very short on his long legs. It didn't even make it part-way down the stocking clad thighs. Small matching shoes with white pointed tips were on his feet and his sweet dewy make-up with bright red lipstick finished the look off. It wasn't God-y, but it drew attention.

He threw his bag into the Corolla and started the engine. He only had a few hours to finish the damned paper and get to bed without disrupting his sleep schedule.

* * *

He finally made it to his house. He'd just park in the driveway and rush in he'd be home free. But as he pulled in a familiar motorcycle rolled into the driveway of the house across from his.

Crap. He had forgotten about his neighbors. It looked as though Kevin was the only one outside currently. He figured he'd just wait until he made his way inside to get out of the car. Searching his bag he put on his reading glasses and checked his phone quickly.

Suddenly he heard a knock on his window. '_No!_'

His head shot up to see none-other than Kevin looking into the cars window confused.

Shit, shit, think of something fast. WAIT! He was _Tatiana_. He wasn't Edd. He could do this. Tatiana was calm and cool. Collected and sexy. '_Okay, I can do this._'

He rolled down the window, cocking a brow at Kevin's surprised face.

He put on Tatiana's voice. He had plenty of practice to sound like a woman, it wasn't hard anymore.

"May I help you?"

"Oh, um, Sorry. I thought this was Double D's car."

Lying wasn't something Edd usually did. But right now it was necessary. He didn't know anything about Kevin other than he was the football captain and the star player of the baseball team. His views on homosexuality and cross-dressing were unknown. If he was adverse to it, well Edd would rather not know.

"It is. I'm just borrowing it for a bit." Edd was never rude in conversations. However Tatiana was. She was a bitch on wheels and you had to be pretty special for her to give you more then a passing glance. Kevin was surprised at this girls bored drawl. Like he was the most uninteresting thing in the world. It was unusual for any woman not to be smitten immediately. Kevin knew he was attractive, so what was with this girl.

"Really? How do you know him." Kevin leaned into the car, putting on his best smile. He was sure it would charm her.

"He's my cousin." Tatiana gave barley a glance. As she grabbed the bag and tried to open the car door.

"I can't exactly get out with you leaning on the door, now can I?" She said. Her face showed no signs of interest and her tone was like daggers. Very annoyed daggers.

Kevin didn't know what to do. He had never had anyone so casually dismantle him like that. He leaned away as she opened the door.

"I need to talk to Double D. Any Idea where he is?" Kevin tried to sound casual but once he saw this woman in full view as she got out of the car he couldn't help but to put on the moves. I mean damn, can you say legs for DAYS?

"He's still at work." Tatiana lied. At least he didn't automatically make the assumption they were the same person. But then he didn't look anything like his normal self.

"Do you think you can give him a message for me?" Kevin asked. He had slid right into Tatiana's personal space and had an interested hand on her shoulder.

"I'm no messenger. I'm only here for the night to check up on the house." She brushed off the advances and took a step away. How Kevin acted with women was disgraceful.

"Well you'll probably see him before me, right? I just wanted to ask if he could help me out in my trig class. I missed a few days from a sports injury." He stepped back into the space. "By the way I'm Kevin." He held out his hand with his biggest most flirtatious smile.

She didn't take it. "Charmed I'm sure. I'll let him know." She walked towards the house, her hips swaying as she sauntered to the door.

He followed like a dog in heat. "So what's your name?"

Tatiana slid the glasses down her nose and looked at Kevin with a face that seemed to ask 'You can't be serious, right?'

"Tatiana." Was the simple reply. No introduction. He wasn't worth it, but then who was for Tatiana?

"That's a really beautiful name." The redhead leaned on the door-frame as the petit girl sorted through her keys.

"My parents thought so too. Now if you'll excuse me, I have things to do. Good night." She flipped the door open and gave the most fake and insincere smile.

"Yeah, Uh, Good-" The door was nearly slammed in his face. "Night."

Now this was interesting.

"Tatiana huh?"

* * *

_Oh no. We all know where this is going. Shit I need to think of something original fast. Maybe... No. Maybeee... !? No. Sorry guys. You'll just have to deal with it. It's okay. So do I._


	3. Chapter 3

_I really like big black drag queens. Like a lot. So don't get mad if Ashleighia/Andy appear a lot more._

* * *

Edd walked the halls, shoulders slumped. It took him an extra 45 minutes to get out of all that make-up at home, having forgotten make-up remover. The clothes were hand wash only which took another 30 minutes to do, and his paper, perfect as it was now took another 22 minutes to complete. A whole 97 extra minutes. that was 37 minutes past his scheduled sleep time. Those extra minutes left him tossing and turning worrying. He ended up not being able to sleep much at all because of it. Then he had work tonight, and after yesterday he dare not call in. They would never fire him but he respected them too much to let them handle the backlash without his help.

He placed his books gingerly in his locker, finally friday! Even luckier for him he had finished all his school work. He wasn't too sure what to do with his weekend though. Which usually meant he'd go to the Blue Dressage and do some extra accounting, restock the mini-fridge, and order any make-up and costume parts they were low on. It was the most productive thing he could think of, although last week he'd been kicked out by Matilda telling him to have fun and do something besides work. Maybe he'd call one of the numbers he'd obtained and go on a date. Actually… that didn't sound too bad. Maybe a movie then dinner. Sipping wine and talking about future endeavors with an older man… That didn't sound bad at all. He'd have to go through his journal where he categorized all the numbers with explanations of who they were as he remembered them.

A sound beside him made him jump out of his thoughts and back into his skin.

"Hey Double Dweeb."

"Oh." Edd closed his locker. "Greetings Kevin. What brings you to my locker this fine day."

He tried not to be sarcastic, he really did, however the tone came out much as it did last night. He was still a bit angry Kevin hadn't backed off when Tatiana was uninterested. He held no respect for her and that made Edd pretty angry. He already wasn't respected as he was, the least the jerk could do was be respectful of him as Tatiana.

"So, your cousin… Tatiana. She deliver my message?" He asked.

Might as well nail the coffin shut.

"Huh? Tatiana, no. She didn't say anything to me regarding you." Edd said. Surely he'd give up quickly after all 'Tatiana' was not going to be around much anyway.

Kevin seemed a little put off, but not much. "Oh well I asked her to ask you if you could help me in trig? I was out for a few days and now I don't get anything."

Edd sighed. He really couldn't say no to helping someone with educational endeavors.

"I'd be happy to. When would you like to get together?" Kevin though for a second and Edd continued. "Mind you I'm busy with work weekdays from 3 until 9. I'm not sure about your school schedule but I'm out at 1 everyday, so I have a two hour window then." Edd said looking into the air as though it was his planner. Of course he didn't need one, although he had one in his backpack, _obviously_.

"Where do you work?" Kevin had wondered last night where the geek could possibly work, before being enraptured by those silky smooth legs the dark haired goddess had. After all Edd was known for his complete dedication to school and probably wouldn't put up with anything that got in the way.

Edd knew he'd have to lie to avoid becoming suspicious. Something close enough to the truth should be fine though.

"I work at a small bar. I mostly do work in the back, as the bar is, of course, 21 and over."

"That's pretty cool." Kevin raised an eyebrow. A bar? That was where the dork worked? "Ever score alcohol?" He asked playfully.

Edd didn't look particularly joking and didn't immediately react like Kevin thought he would, by being flabbergasted or gasping '_never_'. Rather he looked like he wondered how to answer the question appropriately.

"Not bottles to take home." Seemed to be the response he settled on. Kevin balked. Edd- Double D- the nerd- drank? Underage? Well that was… something.

"Anyways the question Kevin, what day would be appropriate for you?"

"Well I was hoping today. That was your final class right? I can even give you a ride, you walked to school right?" Edd was a little surprised Kevin knew he walked to school. It was close enough that it would be a waste of gas to go to and from the unnecessarily and the weather was nice this time of year.

"That's rather short notice but I guess it doesn't matter. But like I said I only have two hours to help you. If you don't understand everything you'll have to either study the rest on your own or come back another day."

"Yeah that's fair." Kevin motioned with his head to the doors so they could start walking. They moved from the hall and continued chatting until they reached the fiery red standard Ducati. It was a sight to behold, and Edd was admittedly stricken with the metal beast.

He had a soft spot for motorcycles ever since his first boyfriend, Matt. He had a flashy black and green Electra Glide. It was a beautiful machine and just the thought brought back sweet memories. He was a man who loved the open road. Really that was the biggest reason they broke up after only 3 months. It wasn't bitter or heartbreaking but the man liked to travel.

He had wanted to bring Edd with him on a road trip and although the sockhead really had wanted to go it was much too soon in the relationship for something as _solid_ as travel plans. As sweet as the offer was, it kind of proved that the relationship was moving too quickly, and really Edd still needed to focus on school. He couldn't just take to the road all willy-nilly.

Though in those few short months he rode that motorcycle as often as he could, nearly every day actually. Matt had even taught him how to drive it.

He remembered how scared he was the first time getting on, how it led to his first real kiss. He could swear he missed the bike more then Matt.

Nostalgia filled his lungs as he took a deep breath and sighed at the lovely memory, even if it was just 7 months ago they parted ways.

"Scared?" Kevin asked. Edd had just stopped to stare at the bike then proceeded to take a deep breath and sigh. Though he had an odd smile on his face.

"No, just admiring. A 2001 Ducati Monster 750 right." Edd knew he was right. It wasn't a question. He moved to touch the red chrome of the gas tank. He ran his fingers to the leather seats.

"Yeah, Didn't know you knew anything about bikes." Kevin was finding out a lot about the dork today.

"I had a-" He almost said boyfriend but corrected himself quickly, though there was an audible pause, "A friend. From the bar. He had a '78 Touring Electra Glide. Before I got my car he'd sometimes give me rides to work." And by sometimes he meant every day.

"That's pretty sick dude. So you know how to ride?" He pulled out his spare helmet from the saddle bag and handed it to the boy eyeing the bike like it was his first love.

"Yes." He put the helmet on happily. He thought about removing his hat but decided against it. Not because it mattered to hide his head anymore but because the outfit he had chosen for the day had no pockets. He hadn't quite gotten over his fear of people seeing his hair but really if it couldn't be helped... Like when he wore wigs he obviously couldn't wear it so he had gotten more used to people seeing him without, even if just the girls backstage and having sex with it on would be strange. He just had to get used to it.

Kevin got on and motioned for Edd to do the same. It was much easier getting on then the Electra. He threw his leg over expertly and placed his hands at Kevin's hips. He would rather not press himself against Kevin. He was sure the moment the engine sprung to life every fiber of his being would remember what he used to do on that large monster of a bike Matt had. When it was revved up in the garage, vibrating, rocking…

Having sex on a bike was as about the most erotic thing Edd could think of and he'd like to keep why he had an erection to himself thank you.

Kevin was impressed. Double Dork turned perfectly with him and didn't hold on tight like the women he usually had behind him, though he wouldn't mind having that little piece from last night cling to him. In fact how much distance Edd kept was almost strange.

* * *

When they stopped in Kevin's driveway Edd was in a daze. Even after he removed himself from the bike he could feel it vibrating between his legs. He decided he would get a date after work tonight. After this he'd really enjoy remembering and possibly reenacting everything else he had done with Matt on his precious Electra.

"My place or yours?" Kevin asked, removing the head gear and strapping it to the seat.

That snapped Edd out of his trance, though the question didn't help him think any less of sex.

"Oh, mine. I have my notes there and I need to get ready for work immediately after."

"Do I need to grab anything?"

They discussed what would be necessary. Kevin was going to dip into his house to receive his notebook and Edd was going to prepare the table. Truthfully he didn't have to, but he wanted a reason to go on ahead and take care of his little problem. It was healthy to do so after all.

When Kevin knocked Edd had just finished himself off. It had only been 10 minutes, he had told Kevin to give him 15. Incredibly rude.

Oh well. He cleaned up and answered the door. He had laid his book and paper out, the house was spotless as always. If asked he'd just say he needed to clean up. He knew what everyone thought of him so it wasn't a stretch to say he needed to dust before anyone came over.

Though of course he did that this morning.

They opened up the chapter and Edd explained to Kevin how each problem was done. As the hour was finishing they had only gotten through the first half, the second half creeped by slower getting even less done. When his phone chimed he ended the session telling him they'd have to pick this up another day.

They confirmed for Sunday. Usually Kevin would be against studying on the weekends but he had a test Tuesday and he wasn't sure if he could drill it all in in just two hours on Monday.

When Kevin had left Edd went about preparing his work bag. His laptop could be left behind today, as he had no essays due. He looked at his phone. Today him and Andy would be going in at the same time. He lived pretty close too.

Edd really wanted to come home on a motorcycle. He called the number marked as Ashleighia.

"T T, That you?" The large mans voice was muffled.

"Yeah, Hey Ash- do you think you could give me a ride today?"

"Sorry, just a second girl. 'm putting on a shirt." A moment passed and then Edd heard the deep southen voice in full now. "Okay, Hey girl. What up?"

"I was wondering if it was possible for you to swing by and pick me up today." He asked, more sure of himself the more he thought of riding a man riding a bike.

"Did your car break down or something?"

"Corolla's do not break down, Ashleighia. They aren't capable of it. No I wanted to go home with someone tonight, It'd be inconvenient leaving my car there while I rode off with a biker dude."

"Ohhh spicy. Is your ex in town?"

"No, he's in Oregon last I heard. I was hoping to meet someone tonight. After all we never seem to have a shortage of bikers in the club."

"Don't I know it." He hummed in appreciation. "If you don't succeed though?" He wanted to make sure she wasn't stuck waiting for him, Edd was known for extending his shifts if duty calls. More then that though was if Tatiana was to mingle, Ashleighia would have to too, and after work the only thing he cared to mingle with was chicken fingers.

"Tatiana never fails, Ash. You know that."

"Is she not capable of it?" Andy mocked.

"If she was, I'm not sure anyone would know without penalty of death." Edd teased back.

"I'll be there in 10. But if I have to bring you home tonight, you are buying me McDonald's. And you know I don't just get the big mac and be done with it."

Edd laughed. "Of course. And if I don't need a ride I'll get you McDonald's to thank you for making my kinky bike fucking possible."

"Oh, bitch don't go making promises you ain't gonna keep. I will sit. On. You."

"I'll see you in 10 then." Edd mock sighed exasperated.

"Don't you take that tone with me, boy. I could crush you like the tiny little waif you are. I'll be there soon. Buh-bye."

"Bye love, and thanks." They both hung up and Edd finished getting ready, only leaving when he heard Ashleighia's tell-tale honk.

* * *

_Did I mention I LOVE big black drag queens._


	4. Chapter 4

_So I thought I had hit a wall, like "What the hell do I do with these characters now that they're kinda like... going" I got really scared by how much love this received so quickly. But the same things pulled me through. So thanks everyone for your kind (and somewhat demanding) words._

* * *

The club was packed. All the girls that had managed to get sick yesterday were back. Apparently they went to eat at a Chinese restaurant (who's name will not be disclosed but on an unrelated note don't go to Wok 'n' Tok) and got food poisoning. Edd was just happy they were feeling well enough to go on stage so soon.

He didn't have much to do as Tatiana tonight. Mostly Edd wanted to tend to the others then mingle, though he would be needed on stage in a few hours. Edd took the liberty of setting up everyones stations properly, as they trusted only him to do. He made sure everyone had two bottled waters, dehydration was likely after food poisoning after all, and helped everyone get into the more complex pieces of their wardrobes. Only when he had nothing better to do did he get himself dressed. With Edd's efficiency he wouldn't be needed back stage for another hour and a half.

He donned a somewhat comfortable dress that would slip off quickly, so when he was needed he could get it off and into costume. It was short and tight but it had a zipper down the back that allowed for it's easy removal. It had a high collar and his wig was in a long ponytail atop his head, It fell well past his shoulder blades and was completely flat. Tatiana looked every bit the biker chick, with knee high boots, matching black leather gloves, and chains around her neck, wrists, and waist. A quick once over making sure his leather garter holding up his stockings could be seen, he made a walk around the bar.

* * *

By the end of the night he had gotten six numbers. Only two of which were bikers. One was absolutely not his type at all and although the other wasn't what he'd normally go for, the electric blue Honda Goldwing in the parking lot said otherwise. It was loud and purred sensually straight to Edd's tight skirt. He was ready to burst at the seams from just the thought of getting reamed on that wonderful machine.

Ted, he said his name was. Not that it mattered much. It was rare for Edd to have true one-night stand but that was the case tonight. He had a couple of people he occasionally hooked up with, they were some friends that he could hang out with when Ed and Eddy were busy or screw if he was feeling a particular fancy. However none had motorcycles. A shame really.

Ted had wanted him to keep on the Tatiana act until they got home. And as much as it was uncomfortable being in big heels and a tiny dress on a motorcycle, being Tatiana on a bike getting fucked was too hot a thought to pass up. Ted had a thing for removing the dress himself, or so he said. Seeing an attractive woman shred her appearance and become a man was his biggest kink.

Whatever, if Edd was going to get what he wanted tonight why not give a little back.

He rode behind the biker as close as possible, clinging to his broad leather-clad back. He made sure the man knew exactly what was on his mind. He directed Ted to his house, no one would be home anyway.

It took about a half an hour longer then usual to get back but that was fine because every time they were at a stop and he revved that engine, Edd would melt and just couldn't help but grind himself against the bike. God did he miss the purr and warmth of the engine as they took off screeching into the night.

They pulled in next to the car after the sexually charged trip and pulled their helmets off. Edd would have to go inside to open the garage, as the clicker had been dismantled in an accident. Before they even made it off the driveway though Ted had pulled the drag queen in front of him in the seat and was thoroughly kissing him. Edd was glad he had chosen lip-stain rather then gloss. That'd be a mess he wasn't willing to deal with in this moment.

The grinded together lewdly as Ted revved the engine twice, knowing exactly what to do to shake him up.

Edd pulled on Ted's leather jacket lapels so they were upright again then flirtatiously slid off the tank. Before he rounded the corner he gave the man full view of him sliding the zipper on the back of the dress down juuust enough.

The man lunged and soon they were plowing their way to the door. Mouthes tangled, bumping into lawn ornaments and bushes as Ted pushed the pretty drag queen up against any flat surface he could.

As Edd fought with his keys at the door as he was pressed against it he heard a familiar voice.

Edd liked Kevin just fine, He was a bit of a jerk but he wasn't a bad person. But to Tatiana… Kevin was the scourge of the earth.

Kevin had heard the motorcycle before he had seen it. He thought Edd's friend had come to visit but it wasn't the Harley he had spoken of. He wanted to check out the bike so he got closer until heard rustling and thumping, then a low keening noise that sounded like it was from a porno. "Edd? What's with all the noise out here?"

Rather then Edd though there was a large brunette man with a leather jacket and a buzz cut holding onto the chick from last night, but rather then the prim and proper version he remembered she was all rock and roll and tight hot leather.

And man was she debauched. Her long dark hair was mussed in it's high ponytail and the tight dress she wore was ridden impossibly high leaving her leather garter showing, the top of the dress was unzipped and showing her neck, which now had dark spots forming all along her collarbones. The leather gloves held tight on the large mans shoulders and one of the tall heels on those long legs was wrapped around the strangers hip as they rocked them together.

What he wouldn't do to be that dude right about now.

They locked eyes and Tatiana glared like Kevin was the lowest. She rolled her eyes when the redhead made no motion to move, instead shoving his hands in his pockets and smirking.

Tatiana make a motion with her hands clearly signaling 'Go away.' He didn't.

"Shoo fly, don't bother me." She growled as the man made a nip at her jawline and looked over his shoulder.

"Don't stop on my account." Kevin said showing his hands in mock surrender. "I don't mind waiting."

Ted deemed the kid no threat and turned back to continue his ministrations as though never interrupted. Still feverish in his movements, though Edd could fell him beginning to simmer down, and that would not due.

The largest of them murmured from his vantage point on the long, pale neck below him, "Wanna give the kid a show?"

Tatiana grumbled in anger and indignation and moved the man away from her to pick out the correct key from the bundle of many many keys on the brightly colored keychain.

Just before the door clicked to signify it was open Kevin made another call out. "Does Edd and his parents know what you're using their house for?"

Tatiana grabbed Ted, pushed him inside before standing in the doorway, glowering down on the jock.

It was almost scary.

The woman was beautiful and tousled and incredibly sexy. But she was tall. Taller then him without the heels, and the boots adding another 4 or 5 inches made her a menacing figure. Head held high, shoulders tense but not hunched, arms outstretched in the doorway, light streaming in from behind leaving most of her face in shadows… and then she hissed. It was sultry and dulcet and left Kevin weak in the knees from the mixture of intense fear and longing it elicited in him.

"Don't pretend like you know my business. If I hear you spoke of this to anyone, trust me when I say you will regret it."

He stood frozen. He had never felt this way about a woman before.

He wanted her.

She then gathered herself, obviously done with him. She took one last look and with her steely eyed gaze she then snapped, "Go!" and he ran. He ran into his house and up to his room and he had his hand down his pants before he hit the bed.

From the back of his mind he heard a garage door opening. He glanced out of his open window to see the object of his newfound affections and the man he envied more than anyone else in the word retrieve the bike. He zoned in on how Tatiana was on the front of the bike, how when the engine roared she would throw her head back and make a noise of sheer joy. He watched until the steel guarders closed once again leaving him with only his imagination at what they could be doing in that concrete garage and what other sounds she might make.

* * *

Tatiana on the other hand was increasingly proud of herself. Kevin took off like a scared rabbit. He never would have been able to do that as just Edd. Though when he had gotten inside Ted had sat on the couch and was looking forlorn.

"What was that?" Ted asked, looking at the floor.

"Just a neighborhood pest. He seems to have taken a liking to-" He made a motion to himself, "This."

"Tatiana?" The biker supplied.

"Yeah. Her. Whatever though, I wouldn't give a kid like that the time of day." She said, brushing the incident off.

"Does he know you're…" He paused trying to use the right words, "In drag?"

"Good heavens no. I don't know him well enough to share such private information." Edd sneered.

"So are you in the closet, cause I don't mess with-"

"Whoa there, speedy. Slow your roll. I'm out to the people that matter and what the hell does it matter to you. See this here," The drag queen made a motion between them, back and forth. "This is a fling. We agreed on that way before hand. As in we ride and then you ride. Then maybe we see each other again at the bar, maybe not depending on your performance. That was the deal, right?"

"Yeah, I get it. Just some kid. Whatever." The biker seemed a little misplaced still but it was over.

"Right." Edd was glad to have that soothed over.

"Now," He purred a toothy grin sliding onto that pretty made-up face. "Shall we continue where we left off?"

* * *

The bike itself was great. Ted however... was sub-par. It was good sex, sure, but if he wanted just 'good sex' he could have called a number of people.

He wanted mind-blowing life-shattering. rattling, shaking, vibrating motorbike sex. Ted was of sizable length and fine girth… but he didn't know how to use it. The bike was probably the only thing that brought Edd off in the end. The brunette had no rhythm in either his hips nor his large hands, calloused as they were, he just didn't understand how to use any of it to his advantage. Instead letting the engine do all the work.

Edd got the man out in the wee hours of the morning having to convince him that a morning round and sleeping there were strictly forbidden. More then anything though he just wanted the sloppy man out of his house. He never took of his boots inside and tracked mud, he was clingy afterwards and the teen severely needed rest for the upcoming day. He didn't have much to do but the thought of sleeping in past noon sent shivers down Edd's spine. No way could he let that happen, so after the quickest shower he could muster, even if it was almost an hour, he set his alarm to 11:30 and laid for some much deserved and hard-earned rest.

* * *

_So yeah. This exists now. Sorry not sorry._


End file.
